Lately, I’ve been contemplating what self-care means to me. Most often I think many of us (myself included) see self-care as activities we do for ourselves. Indulgences that we enjoy doing like; taking a bath, going for a pedicure, having a massage or a 1-hour yoga practice.

While these acts of self-care are wonderful and important for our nervous system, they can be time-consuming and sometimes viewed as another item on our exhausting to-do list. Also, they are often last on our list, and they easily get put off when our schedules are busy.

Even when we are able to fit them into our schedule, many of us aren’t fully present during these activities (I know I’m guilty of that during times of stress). If our nervous system is still in a sympathetic state (fight or flight), we aren’t able to fully enjoy the relaxation these acts of self-love are intended to provide. Our mind is too busy thinking about our to-do list or the argument we had with our spouse. Even worse, we may be judging or berating ourselves for taking the time to do this loving act.

What if self-care was less about indulgent activities and more about loving moments we have with ourselves?

As I rethink self-care, I’m playing with different ideas of what it now means to me. Instead of it being separate acts that I take periodically, I’m looking at the way I speak to myself and care for myself throughout my day. This may sound like self-love but I do see them differently. I think self-care is still more of an action (although it doesn’t have to be big) and self-love is more of a feeling. I’m seeing these moments of self-care as follows:

• Taking a moment to focus on my breath
• Speaking kindly to myself
• Taking breaks
• Mindfully eating
• Allowing myself to enjoy the present moment
• Saying NO instead of forcing myself to say yes to things I don’t want to do or don’t have time for
• Looking at myself in the mirror and smiling
• Treating myself the same way I treat my loved ones

While I’m still including the indulgences in my schedule as acts of self-care, I’m also making sure that within each day I am taking the time to check in with myself to do the above items.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Do you have any ideas you could add to this list?